1 min read
03 Dec

©    March 18th, 2017 - 10:36 am to 11:14 am - I remembered a couple of experiences that I've had this morning with numbers.  When I went to museums, sometimes with my father, I'd be drawn to looking at the years that were next to art pieces.  I'd look at the numbers and explore the context in my mind.  Imagining was that their whole life span?   Was that the life of the project?  I felt like I was exploring the numbers more than alot of people or more than most people.  But, I was experiencing the numbers like I was riding an ocean wave.  I was diagnosed with autism about 30 years after the earlier times when I can remember doing that thing with the art pieces and numbers.  I thought that it was related to losing loved ones when I was a 11 years old and I still think it might be.  But I after being diagnosed with autism, I feel like it was a way of processing my thoughts and feelings related to losing loved ones and there's something about numbers and other factors that led me to have that experience.  I also remembered something else that I did when I was a small child.  I thought about titles in the following way, additional fun, well kind of but that doesn't make sense.  Then I thought about the title don't take away my fun.  I thought that that's better, but not quite right.  Then, I thought take away fun.  And I think the best title is from don't take away my fun to take away fun.  When I was a small child, I saw a number with a dash next to the other number several times.  I didn't know what it was supposed to mean.  I've thought about it some over the years as an enjoyable experience that I made up or created.  I don't remember when I started, but it might have been when I learned substraction.  I guess at some point I made a connection that every time I saw one of those signs, we went under a bridge.  I made up a subtraction game that whenever we drove under a bridge and I saw one of those signs, I would do the math.  If I got the math problem right between seeing the sign and leaving the bridge, than I'd win.  If I got the problem wrong by the time we left the bridge, then I'd lose.  I think that I got the math problem right most or all of the time.  After being diagnosed with autism about 40 years of doing the math problems, I see that there's something related to numbers.  I don't remember when I stopped doing the math problems.  At some point, I learned that those signs clarified the height of the upcoming bridge.  I like the saying or thought that if you've met 1 person with autism, than you've met 1 person with autism.  While I appreciate patterns, one label, perspective, or moment in time, doesn't define me and I think others, but I can only speak for myself.  Every experience that people have is a human experience by definition.  So, for me it's about seeing the human experience wholistically and in context.  So, one take away that I have from my life so far, with the math problem sign experience as a catalyst.  Signs can be helpful guides but not their final destinations.

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