Written and Edited - June 13th, 2017 5:02 pm to 5:21 pm
It seems or feels like the default greeting is a hard handshake. I think that it's a cultural dynamic. I don't know if it's U.S. or Western culture. But I've noticed some patterns.
The default handshake is so hard to me that it hurts me.
I think at some point I realized, that hurts. Then I think I spent a period of time scared of anticipating the handshakes, getting very anxious and nervous about it.
After another period of time and reflecting, I realized that I have certain rights. And if the handshakes hurt me, I can say my peace.
I've done different things to avoid the handshakes discreetly at the possibility getting a handshake that might hurt.
When I haven't felt comfortable getting into it, I've put my hands in my pocket, said I've got a cold, (whether it's true or not), or positioned my body and fingers to try and reduce the pain from the squeeze as much as possible, but people still squeeze hard.
When I feel comfortable, I'll tell people that I don't shake hands because there's a culture pattern of squeezing my hand hard to the point where it hurts.
And I'm so thankful for being in spaces where everyone is received for being ourselves and pursuing our lives on our terms.
While I have some reference points or baselines, I continue to receive as many as I can. Because the better I know myself the better I can reflect and communicate and express my being and people can receive my authentic being.
But I'm not completely aware of my authentic being and able to express it. Sometimes it feels like I live with contradictions. But I'm on the path and appreciate being more connected to my authentic being.