1 min read
03 Dec

©    Written and Edited - April 27th, 2017 - 12:58 pm to 1:30 pm

I'm Sorry, Grandpa

I was very lucky that I got to visit my grandparents several times over the years, even though we were geographically challenged or far away from each other physically.

And I feel like I had a very good relationship with my grandparents overall.

But, after November 3rd, I think that it was within a couple of years, there was one visit or interaction that stands out to me.

After November 3rd, my thoughts and feelings about Capitalism was heightened because the harm level led to more significance, people being killed.

My understanding of a lot of things didn't have nuances or lacked or limited a certain depth.  My grandfather owned a small business, (a printing press).

At that time, I have a vague memory of arguing with my grandfather.  I was about 12 years old and I think that it was during the same period as hearing some people around me use words like they were martyrs, the CWP 5 were assassinated, murdered.  So, I think that I was repeating a perspective that I agreed with but had very limited understanding of.

So, I argued with my grandfather.  Since my grandfather owned a business, he was a capitalist.  And, I saw my grandparents as living comfortably.  And they shared their resources with family and friends.

At the time, I remember telling my grandfather by yelling at him, "You're either rich and a capitalist, or your not rich and not a capitalist."

My grandfather and I argued, although my memory says that it was more me yelling at him.

I don't remember how the yelling stopped.  I think that maybe my mother, grandmother, and/or someone else convinced me at one point to agree to disagree.

Now, about 37 years later, I have a significant amount of more awareness which includes different perspectives.

I think that my grandfather had a better and more broad and human perspective than I did at the time.

On the one hand, I know that we're always doing the best that we can at any given moment.  And I was expressing myself the best way that I knew how.  And I've learned a lot since then.  I don't know if it's the Jewish guilt and/or something else, but I feel really bad.

So, for whatever it's worth, "I'm sorry grandpa".

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