Written and Edited - June 21st, 2017 - 12:36 pm to 1:11 pm
I Need Your Attention Please
One morning I woke up and I knew it was Saturday. But for some reason, I came up with an idea to dress obnoxiously so it could be seen and run around people anxiously as if I were running late pretending that I thought it was a school day. Actually, I was very aware that it was Saturday. I think it was shortly after November 3rd and our house was a headquarters with busy activity. People were meeting in the house addressing legal and other aspects of our lives at that moment.
So I dressed in a few layers at least 2 layers of shirts, pants, and maybe other clothes.
I found myself running downstairs and/or around the house in my layers of clothes and told people around me, I'm running late I have to get to school.
One or more people said it's Saturday. And I said something like oh you're right, pretending to be corrected but I really knew it was Saturday. I knew what I was doing.
I think I needed attention. On the one hand I'm glad I tried to express my feelings and needs the best that I could at the time. But I'm sorry for any deception. Although I think in the big scheme of things, there wasn't too much harm done.
I'm also thinking now, June 21st, 2017 at 1:02 pm, that my expression was somewhat safe. If I had been part of a marginalized community, my valid way of being might have been met with a harsh response, like being Defiant or non compliant.
So, that experience is a faded memory for me and at best it's a faded memory for others. And I'm guessing that even for people who experienced that directly, they probably don't remember it at all.
But everything is in the book of life and part of our cultural DNA. And generations continue to carry what's in our cultural DNA regardless of how aware we are or not.
So the best thing we can do is to continue to increase our awareness. Because we're going to act either way. So we're better off when we act with awareness.