Written and Edited - July 18th, 2017 - 1:24 pm to 1:51pm
Written and Edited - July 20th, 2017 - 1:12 pm to 1:43 pm
Keep Singing
Yesterday, July 17th, 2017, I remembered an interaction I had with kindergarteners when I was working at B'nai Shalom Day School. B'nai Shalom Day School was small. So, I as a staff member, took on many responsibilities, including, supervising children on the playground, cleaning the kitchen, and assisting teachers. My primary job was to assist 2 teachers in particular, a 1st grade teacher and a second grade teacher.
One day, I was filling in for a kindergarten teacher (Karen Dresser). I think I brought a group of kindergarteners from outside to the classroom, that happened to be Mrs. Dresser's class, but I don't remember how it started. I think I brought the students in, maybe saw her in the hallway or something and she or someone else said that she'll be in class soon. But, currently, I don't remember a lot of the details
I was extremely nervous to be in charge of all of these children, even if the moment is brief. But I think that the thought that these moments would pass, calmed my nerves some. Mrs. Dresser would be back soon. I remember the students in a circle. But I don't remember Mrs. Dresser called them to the circle, they did that themselves, or I called them to a circle.
At one point, I felt like divine intervention happened. A thought occurred to me.
I saw an empty water bottle or something like that and started saying this game is called how many uses? So we took turns, taking items around the circle, singing how many uses can you name? and every student took a turn to come up with a creative use for the object or item.
When I was in the zone focusing on the community I was into it and I was fine. But at one point, I became self-conscious and heard my singing above this collective. So, I stopped singing. After a minute or so, one of the students, Eric said, "Mr. Goldstein, you stopped singing." I took that as a sign at the time, that it was his way of saying that I stopped the fun that I even started myself.
What a great reminder about how we start out, creative, fun, not self conscious. But we get those messages engrained about being self-critical about self and others and sometimes that ideas snowballs to great proportions.
And even now, today, July 18th, 2017 at 1:39 pm reflecting on the interactions that happened in 1991 or 1992, I have a thought that Eric said I stopped singing as a fact, not related to preference that I stopped. Maybe Eric stated a fact and kind of asking why and/or wanting me to continue.
I want to thank Eric for the reminder. I've continued to sing throughout my life. It hasn't occurred to me about the relationship between that and my experience with Eric. But I think my singing is due or related to all of those moments related to Eric in that moment and all of those similar moments in my life. So I want to thank Eric and everyone else who has taught me to sing and supported my singing in all aspects of my life.