© Written and Edited - June 1st, 2017 - 10:18 am to 10:27 am
Written and Edited - June 1st, 2017 - 12:15 pm to 12:58 pm
Ma, what does deny mean?
I remember walking to school every day with Suzanne Arguello (spelling). Those were the days. I had a crush on her and it was nice to walk to school together. I think we were in the 3rd grade.
The world was mine. We'd get to school early, before class started. I would find myself playing with a few other classmates including, Wendy Haymore (spelling). I vaguely remember chasing them around a basketball court. At the time we were young people running around having fun. Now I wonder if there were any gender or patriarchal things going on or dynamics. I wish I could talk with them directly and reflect from their added perspectives.
While I don't remember the details of our walks to school, I have a nice general feeling.
But one day, Suzanne and I had an experience that had a profound impact on me then and in the future.
The way I remember it was that a young person, was standing in front of us. I think he was in junior high or high school.
He was holding what looked like a pipe or something that looked like a pipe parallel to his chest. He told us to give him our lunch money. I think I was kind of thrown and confused. And maybe I was in somewhat of a daze. I don't remember all of the details. But, I think Suzanne and I gave him our lunch money, went to school and the other person went on his way.
Suzanne and I probably talked about the experience as we were processing it. Did she talk to our parents, teachers, or adults? I don't remember. I have a vague memory of riding in a police car to the police station. And then looking at some pictures and identifying him. "That's him. I know that for sure." I don't remember Suzanne's experience. Was she with me for the ride and at the police station?
I have a vague memory of talking with classmates about various aspects of the experience.
I had several mixed feelings. I was confused, scared, excited about the ride in the police car and at the station. I think the police drove us to school.
In fact, I was so scared, and I think she was too, and I think we never walked to school again. We took the bus or might have gotten a ride from our parents.
At one point, I got a phone call. I don't remember if I answered the phone or if someone answered and gave me the phone.
But it was the police. They said that the person identified, denied mugging Suzanne and I.
I didn't know what deny meant because I hadn't heard it before. I asked my mother or someone what deny meant.
When I got the meaning, I didn't understand. I grew up so that we did the right thing. But, if I messed up or did something wrong, I'd acknowledge it.
The experience of meeting the person who took my lunch money provided me with another person's journey. I'd get to maybe get a sense of another lived experience.
I don't remember how that situation was resolved. And I dealt with it the best that I could at the time.
But since I've experienced restorative justice since then, I wish we could approach or respond to the situation then. And we can still reference Restorative Justice in general in the context of human experiences.
I feel like there's so much individually and in the context of social constructs like class, race, and various other aspects. The way I remember is that the person who took our lunch money was black.
And at one point, I got caught up in doing wrong and acknowledging it. I threw paper towels outside the school bathroom window with other classmates. I think that was the same year but after the denial experience. But that's another story.
We continue to carry out parts of our journeys which involve both hurt and healing. The question is, how can we increase the healing?