© Written and Edited - April 21st, 2017 1:00 p.m. to 2:10 p.m.
Mayhem
Now that I won my hearing appeal, someone gave me the name of this guy named Jack who was going to be my new supervisor. They said that he works in Raleigh as a social worker. That was one of the times that I was extremely nervous but I called him. I think that somehow I summoned some support from a co counselor or in real time or in the bigger picture to help me call Jack.
So, when I talked with Jack, I think that he asked me where I wanted to meet and I don't remember how much of a negotiation the scheduling the time and/or place was. I think that he asked me where I wanted to meet and I wasn't sure so he suggested a coffee place on Tate Street.
So we met at a coffee place on Tate Street. I remember us sitting at a small table. Jack led the conversation about describing his work and relating it to my upcoming internship.
Jack's expression might have been what some people call rambling or going off in tangents. And I see them as relevant. A pattern that I found in both Jack and later saw in myself.
When I saw and felt that pattern in myself and saw it in others, a few things occurred to me (I don't remember the order) - when you care about something you tend to be around related elements and continue to increase your awareness. As we increase our awareness or understanding, we see how things are more and more related to each other. And, a dominant United States way of being is to see and act on things separately. And a separate perspective is nurtured or cultivated in the way we express and receive information. So, sometimes, a connections perspective is hard to express and/or receive because it's far from one that we're so used to that might feel more natural. But, we just need to nurture a connections perspective. And the more we do, the more it might feel natural. And I see a connections perspective as a natural one, that some cultures have moved away from. I feel like we're connected naturally.
So, while Jack was talking, I took notes profusely as I had done throughout the program. I needed to take down every note, thought, etc. as a way to process the information. I wanted to make sure that I got all of the information so that I could understand everything.
At one point Jack said that I would have two supervisors. Jack said that he would be my clinical supervisor to provide guidance with supervising me related to helping me with my clinical skills. And Jennifer Mayhem, who is a policy advocate at the mental health association in Raleigh would be my other supervisor.
So, I wrote down Jennifer Mayhem as one of my supervisors on my paper.
Later, Jack introduced me to my other supervisor, Jennifer Mahan. Later, after meeting Jennifer Mahan and reflecting on the first time I heard her name, as well as the context, I realized I think I knew what happened.
When I heard her name for the first time, I was in such a frazzled State because of my situation with the hearing and maybe having to leave school and this big transition and change. So, Jack probably said her name correctly. But, I heard Mayhem, because of my state of mind and trying to process the situation in which I'd experienced some and was facing new challenges that I'd have to face soon.