© Written and Edited - June 3rd, 2017 - 10:46 am to 11:01 am
Edited - June 20th, 2017 -1:21 pm to 2:02 pm
Edited - June 28th, 2017 - 3:27 pm to 3:34 pm
Pranks But No Pranks
One day when I was at my next door neighbor's house, Adam, I found myself getting some orange juice in their refrigerator. I think I was about 12 or 13 years old.
I started to take a drink of the orange juice, but it tasted very bitter. It was an attack surprise. "Damn Adam, why'd you do that prank on me?" I thought and I might have said.
For some reason, I realized later that it was grapefruit juice. Maybe someone told me. And it might have been that Adam said that it was or might have been grapefruit juice. And I think that I thought he was pretending to not know, what happened but he knew.
So, I was going to get Adam back. I put prune juice in a 2 - liter coke bottle in our refrigerator. Then, I was going to invite Adam to come over to our house and offer him some coke to retaliate or get him back.
But, before I had a chance to invite Adam over, my sister drank the prune juice and I think was unpleasantly surprised.
I'm sorry Tonie and Adam too.
I realized some things after reflecting about the experience.
Even though I was 100% sure what happened in my mind, I think that it was just an honest misunderstanding connected to communication dynamics.
I think it's also a lesson in a common experience that I've had.
I can be so sure of something when I know that I'm 100% right. And if I continue to persist with my right feeling, and don't consider other perspectives, I can get stuck in my own thinking which can effect my relationship with other people.
But if I'm open to different perspectives, honor everyone's Truth, I can put the pieces together in the context of the whole. I (and ideally we) not only have a better understanding of the whole thing, or at least more of it. And my (and ideally our) relationships will be better.
I also realize the situation related to race and relationships. I look back at my experience as a faded memory. But if I were a person of color or marginilized in other ways, it could have been very different.
I think the 3 of us kind of worked it out.
I felt extremely guilty as I gained my sister's and neighbor's perspectives.
I realize now that talking would reduce and preferably prevent other harms being done and received.
How people respond to people and situations make a difference.
If people responded to me harshly, criminalizing me, and going that route, my life's journey could be vastly different. Going down a prison, jail, mental systems rabbit hole, who knows?
So, I wish now we were more wholistic about the situation, but we did a little.
And my increased awareness since then reminds me of some parts of or places of privilege I've had and continue to have.
But we need to appreciate all life and respond in ways relevant to all life forms by our own definitions.