Written and Edited - May 26th, 2017 - 2:13 pm to 3:10 pm
Edited - May 31st, 2017 - 1:12 pm to 1:28 pm
Skating by in Life
Jim and I shared some things in common but were also different from each other in some ways. I was always, somewhat shy and reserved. I was and still am somewhat quiet. I've tended to be more of a loner, not playing with my peers and going outside. But Jim was very outgoing. For example, he taught me how to ride a bike and took me fishing.
One example in which we can see both Jim and I in a particular experience is when we went roller skating. There was a smaller beginner's rink and then a regular sized one. And people could skate in either one, whichever one we wanted to. The beginners rink was for people who didn't feel comfortable in the regular sized rink, children, and/or maybe others. Later, I realized that we can also start in the beginner's rink to practice and skate in the regular sized one if and when we're ready.
The regular sized rink was for others. Including at some points, the roller skating rink staff, designated some time for a men's speed skating for men 18 years old and older. They put orange cones strategically in the rink. Then the speed skating session went on. There were maybe a dozen or so 18 to early 20's out there and Jim, who was 35 or 36 years old.
Now I was a very different story. I skated in the beginners rink and did so like my life depended on it. I skated in the rink like it was my mother's womb and skated around holding on to the rim like it was my umbilical cord. My best memory serves that Jim and I had probably about 3 to 5 discussions back and forth. That Jim was trying to convince me or get me to skate in the regular sized rink. But my anxiety was too much to match Jim's words. And I think Jim probably struggled with how much to push me and how much to let me be and honor my feelings.
At one point, Jim took me, I think firmly, passionately, from the beginner's rink to the regular sized one. I don't remember if Jim said anything while he took me. He might have said a few words. I got to the regular sized rink and started skating. I think that I was extremely anxious, but I don't even remember now. But I started skating, fell down, and got up. I skated some more, fell down, and got up. I fell down a few times and got up each time. My skating got better the more I skated. Eventually, I didn't fall down unless I got knocked down by a person or object.
I treasure that memory because it was one with Jim. But it also shows both of us as we were as beings.
And in addition to those fleeting moments, Jim showed me a way of being as he was skating in the speed skating sessions. And he helped me explore another way of being that's more engaged with life than was and is my natural way. And a literal reference that I can go to as an example of falling down and getting up.
Thanks Jim.