© Written and Edited - April 19th, 2017 - 1:55 pm to 2:30 pm
Edited - April 19th, 2017 - 3:12 pm to 3:34 pm
You Did What?
One time, I had an interesting experience. I think that I was about 12 or 13 years old. I don't remember what happened before a particular moment. I think that there were moments of frustration that built up. But at one point, all of the sudden, I got mad and hit my bedroom wall close to where I was standing.
While it was spontaneous, the impact of my hitting the wall made a hole in it.
My macho ego mentally stepped up. I was proud of myself. In fact, I was so proud, that I was anxious to tell my mother what I did and I couldn't run downstairs fast enough to tell her. So, I ran downstairs to tell my mother what I did.
When I got close enough to tell my mother, I said, "ma, guess what I did? (Those words are clear to me). I just punched a whole in the wall. I might be paraphrasing the 2nd part, but that's the gist.
My mother's response was, "you did what?" As soon as I heard my mother's response, I realized that her perception of the same experience, my hitting the wall and putting a hole in it, was different from mine. Both her words, "you did what?" and tone of voice made me think that my hitting the wall and putting a hole in it was wrong.
I think that it was years later when I realized that the hole in the wall was probably more due to the material of the wall and not as much how strong I was.
I also reflect on that experience about 35 years after having being diagnosed with Autism. I was also diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years after punching a hole in the wall. And I wonder how that relates to what people sometimes call an outburst. I don't know the answer to that. But I think it's worth exploring.
I also saw that experience in isolation or separation by itself just as I saw many other examples of my life by themselves. After being diagnosed with Autism and PTSD and seeing more of a pattern and in context, I'm wondering about the various ways that these experiences or situations relate to each other.
To review to see if its duplicate
Written and Edited - April 19th, 2017 - 1:55 pm to 2:30 pm
Edited - April 19th, 2017 - 3:12 pm to 3:34 pm
You Did What?
One time, I had an interesting experience. I think that I was about 12 or 13 years old. I don't remember what happened before a particular moment. I think that there were moments of frustration that built up. But at one point, all of the sudden, I got mad and hit my bedroom wall close to where I was standing.
While it was spontaneous, the impact of my hitting the wall made a hole in it.
My macho ego mentally stepped up. I was proud of myself. In fact, I was so proud, that I was anxious to tell my mother what I did and I couldn't run downstairs fast enough to tell her. So, I ran downstairs to tell my mother what I did.
When I got close enough to tell my mother, I said, "ma, guess what I did? (Those words are clear to me). I just punched a whole in the wall. I might be paraphrasing the 2nd part, but that's the gist.
My mother's response was, "you did what?" As soon as I heard my mother's response, I realized that her perception of the same experience, my hitting the wall and putting a hole in it, was different from mine. Both her words, "you did what?" and tone of voice made me think that my hitting the wall and putting a hole in it was wrong.
I think that it was years later when I realized that the hole in the wall was probably more due to the material of the wall and not as much how strong I was.
I also reflect on that experience about 35 years after having being diagnosed with Autism. I was also diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years after punching a hole in the wall. And I wonder how that relates to what people sometimes call an outburst. I don't know the answer to that. But I think it's worth exploring.
I also saw that experience in isolation or separation by itself just as I saw many other examples of my life by themselves. After being diagnosed with Autism and PTSD and seeing more of a pattern and in context, I'm wondering about the various ways that these experiences or situations relate to each other.